Ruby Ramblings

Koreans aren’t really big on adopting kids, but “rescue” is a bit strong, a lot obnoxious.

Rescue is a bit of a strong word… but as I volunteer at a Korean orphanage, I sympathize with his parents. Now, let is be stated, I am not a Jesus freak, or even very religious, and most of the orphanages here are actually through Christian or Catholic Churches, and the Moajority of Korea is now actually Catholic or Christian, although there are a large population of Buddhists and Taoists and such still( so it’s not like they’re “rescuing” them from what they would call heathens).

Mostly, what they would be rescuing these children from is the emotional turmoil they have gone through. Many of the children I work with are emotionally disturbed or damaged from their ordeals. Many of the Korean orphans are not actually orphans. The ones that are often do have families, but Koreans don’t really believe in taking care of children that are not there, which leads me to the more sad ones.

Many of the children I work with have been left by their families. When a couple gets a divorce, the mother almost always end up with the children. If that mother wants to get re-married, often the new fiance will not marry her while she cares for another man’s child. And so, these children are often dumped in an orphanage, maybe to see their families at major holidays.

I had one girl in my class who had been left with her older brother at the orphanage three years ago, a year later, the mother had remarried and decided to come back, but only for the brother, leaving the then-four year old with no one at all, and only seeing her brother at Christmas. Two years later, I meet her and she was a sweet little girl, but a bit emotionally scarred. Suddenly, out of the blue her mother decides to come get her again. You might think this would be a good thing…and it could be, but the little girl could also be beyond helping emotionally at this point.

Another reason I sympathize is because, to be an orphan in this country is to be lesser, to be dirty. They have less chances, often cannot go to University because they have no money and won’t be accepted if it is known they are orphans, and have a harder time getting jobs. You have no parents, so you must have no honor, or so they think. It is a very carefully guarded secret while they are in school that they are orphans, because otherwise they would have no friends and teachers wouldn’t even try to teach them, they would be treated as stupid and disabled. Unfortunately, sometimes the secret gets leaked out, or often has to be revealed. This kids are treated like next to nothing outside of the orphanage, and without the fund raising efforts of missionaries and local foreigners they wouldn’t get really any Christmas presents, or new supplies, or new clothes to speak of, outside donations from the church.

My point is, don’t necessarily assume that that guy’s parents just steal those kids out of the orphanage, the sweet nuns at mine are always trying hard to find permanent homes for their kids, and most often look outside of Korea for those homes.